Sitting here just thinking… how sad I was that someone I loved didn’t love me back. Whole-time… forgetting about the people who do. Dunno why it was so important for me to get that person to see my worth. So important that I almost forgot my own worth trying to prove myself.
I have no deep shit to say here, just a thought and a note to never again. Ever.
I’m so bored at work. All day I’m sitting here daydreaming. About the most random things. Or writing stories in my head when I haven’t even finished my book. Maybe this time next year I’ll be done LOL
I have to stop my bullshitting and get on it. *sigh*
I remember when I was younger, I had an entire plan mapped out with what I would do with my life. I was gonna be a vet and married by age 26. Two kids, both boys. That was my plan lol. Since I was maybe 8, I just KNEW this was how life would go.
Buttttt then, life actually WENT and I’m 29, single and no kids. Not a vet either LOL. It’s so funny (or not funny) how things don’t always go as planned, but we make the best of it anyway, I suppose. Along the way, I didn’t consider the road toward the goal. Didn’t think about how I’d get there, I just knew I’d be there.
Today… to be honest, I’m glad things went the way they did. If I’d gone that very route, I couldn’t guarantee the life I have now. This life right here, full of people I love/friends that are lasting, experiences that have taught me things that I need to know. This life, I wouldn’t trade for anything.
So what, things don’t go as planned all the time. Life is still a gift, and the one we might take for granted the most. 💕
Getting older, I’m starting to realize… you ain’t grown til you can check your own toxic ways of thinking and behavior. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta check yourself. It’s simply called growth. This time last year, I reacted differently to things than I would today. While no one is perfect, and yes, I still struggle, (pride I suppose) I know now… not everything needs a response, retaliation, and/or argument, or to take up space in my mind. As you get older, you learn to accept things that are out of your control, rather than make a fuss when things don’t go your way. You learn that sometimes, your own way of thinking can be your own worst enemy. You start to be able to check yourself when you’re thinking that negative thought, or when you find yourself getting upset about something that’s out of your power, or when you feel that urge to dish out your own version of Karma to someone who’s wronged you. But I think the most important is being able to check yourself when you’re wrong, and when you are actually the toxic person. *shrug* With time, we grow. 💕
So, recent experiences have got me to thinking about mental health & how important a healthy mental state actually is. I’ve come across so much info online about the human brain, how it reacts to certain traumas, and how important a proper nurturing upbringing is. I hadn’t exactly ever taken the time to think about it. Never thought about WHY people (myself included) are the way they are. It’s fascinating to me, all the different personalities in the world, how they can differ so much, and how they manifest.
I’m a firm believer… we all should designate at least four days a month for mental health. Whatever you have to do to take a break from all the stressors in life, I say take one day a week to disconnect from it and relax. (Sometimes something as simple as turning off your phone for a hour of quiet goes a long way- trust me I know).
Also… you never know what internal battles someone you may see every day is facing. Or what kind of mental state they are in. You never know, how one compliment to a stranger might just make their day.
Check on your “strong” friends. Tell someone you love them. Give a hug. 💕
Loose Marbles 