Loose Marbles

I hope nothing bad happens today down here during his rally. Protest? Unpeaceful gathering? Whatever the fuck we want to call the KKK parade down DC today. I heard that some places are suppose to be refusing service to white supremacists. Good for them, as they should. I can’t believe I’m actually having to write this in 2018.

KKK… white supremacy….? We shouldn’t even be discussing that. Shouldn’t be still WORRIED about it. *sigh*

At this rate, we will never really be united. Cause and effect makes it worse.

The cause for example=one police killing…. The effect= angry black people reminded of a time this was… (I was actually going to say a time this was okay, but apparently it’s always been ok)

Another.

The cause= a fucking KKK rally down here….The effect= more angry black people… ready to defend themselves if need be… continuing on the divide between us, and perhaps rightfully so… but you get my drift.

So where does it all end? Or will it end, ever?

This morning, coming in to work, I saw someone with really nice hair. I wanted to compliment her, but right before I was about to, the look she gave me really threw me off. The nastiest, “bitch-wtf-you -looking-at…hold-on-let-me-check-you-from-head-to-toe-first” type look. So… what’s up with that? Why are we so weird with each other? Always some kind of… I don’t know exactly the word for it? Competition? Maybe… that’s the word.

We always have to look better than her, or dress better than her, stand out more than her… but why?

I’m sitting here trying to think whether or not I do it too. I suppose in ways I do. Why? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I hate it. I wish we didn’t spend so much time at each other’s necks, be it covertly or open. I wish I could go and make female friends without it being “weird”. We all are just trying to live.

*shrug* let me so do some work now.

💕

As cynical as I know that I am, I also know that there are good men out here. The thing is, (and I can not for the life of me figure out why) women almost always look past them. I know I do. I (use to) look past the good guy at Mr. Felon or Mr. Cluster B, or Mr. I-don’t-want-a relationship (but I still think you should let me fuck you from time to time)… those kinds.

But the question is WHY? What is so attractive to us about these men? Maybe they are intriguing… where the Nice Guy, is just safe and almost boring? Or maybe we tend to look at a mans looks first, but consider his character flaws after it’s too late?

The first thing I tell my best friends when I am interested in a man is how fine he is. That’s ALWAYS first. And the bad ones are almost ALWAYS fine. *face-palm* Forget that he ain’t shit, he’s fine. How ridiculous, right?

Unfortunately sometimes it isn’t until you’ve had your heart totally crushed before you realize… character over physical. It’s not til you’re older to you start to think about a future and not temporary satiation of lust.

Anyway… I can imagine how discouraging it must be for the good men (and women) trying to maneuver in this dating game. I hope that no matter what comes you guys’ way that you don’t change who you are because you’re tired of being looked over.

We see you! We just stupid right now 😅

Just laying here… like laying here is going to change the fact that I have to go to work. I’on feel like getting up. Sometimes I literally have to roll myself out of bed and onto the floor LOL. If so don’t I won’t get up.

There is suppose to be some kind of KKK rally down here (DC) this weekend. I have to go to work right in the middle of that shit. I wonder what they are coming to protest? Their anger for their people bringing my people here against their will all those years ago? Maybe they are mad because 12 haven’t killed enough of us? Like… WHAT?!???? LOL I would like to really sit down with one of them and ask, “so… why are you mad, bro?” What exactly were these people taught as kids? Did their parents actually tell them to hate black people? I wonder if any of their kids ever asked ‘but why?’ when they are being taught that bullshit. I can’t really think of one reason for all the hate… I suppose we are a beautiful people though. I really want to say more, but then I may as well wear a white hood too. (Well, mine would be black but, y’all feel me)

Dumb ass people all fail to realize, that one way or the other we WILL HAVE TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET TOGETHER.